Fear of Success

I want to inaugurate this new project talking about a subject that is very much related to my hesitation starting it in the first place.

Throughout my life, I’ve had difficulty following through with different passions and interests, to pursue things fully and really commit.

When exploring this, it struck me that maybe this hasn’t been about fearing failure, but more accurately, it’s been a fear of success.

Why would one be afraid to succeed?  It sounds so counterintuitive and nonsensical.

Often we have subtle modes of influence that operate below the threshold of perception.  In a sense we unconsciously sabotage ourselves because we know that we can just go back to whatever we were doing.

Success means change.  There’s part of us that wants to play small, that likes the comfort of predictability.  So maybe this fear of success is really a fear of the unknown because it requires us to surrender control towards a more certain outcome.  

But when we realize we aren’t really in control to begin with, we begin to see the silliness of it all.  Control is an illusion, the rug can be pulled out from beneath us at any moment due to a wide variety of influences that the Universe can throw at us.

This project is about wearing my heart on my sleeve, it’s about sharing what i’m passionate about, being vulnerable and putting myself out there.  Uncomfortability is confirmation that I’m confronting the fears which have been keeping me held back.  

The other night when facing the prospect of having her tooth pulled, my wise 6 year daughter dropped an Elsa quote.. “Fear can’t be trusted!”

Unapologetically being myself is scary but it is the truest form of Love I can offer.

And If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that Love is the only thing that works.  So if Love is calling me into the unknown, I can’t not trust it.

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